-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phyllis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'-Phyllis DillerThe reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.-Phyllis DillerYou know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.-Phyllis DillerBest senior pick up line:A very elderly gentleman, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.He was in his mid nineties.He was very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his. “I suppose you want a feel too, see if I’m all juiced up?” she asked defiently.Mollineaux went red as a beetroot. “Er” he said.“Well you’re bloody right!” Angie insisted as she stood up in the witness box and hauled her skirt up around waist.“Er actually we can’t see,” Mollineaux insisted.“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Angie protested. She pulled her skirt higher with her left hand and placed three fingers of her right hand against her freshly shaved quim.“See!” she asked, “I’m wet so what, what do you expect, you’ve been talking dirty haven’t you you fithy bastard, what do you expect?” she asked again and her fingers stole gently between her sweet pink pussy lips. “Oh that’s better,” she added, “Ohhhh, you’ll have to excuse me I need a wank!”Three fingers were inside her now. Probing and pulsing gently.“See she is slut!” Defendent F suddenly exclaimed, “How can you say we rape slut? she was gagging!”“She couldn’t wait to fuckm us!” Defendent L added.“She didn’t want rubber she wanted to.
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